So yeah.

I don't know what to say.

Get ready for some stream of consciousness.

Crystal makes a strong case for journaling, and Merry too. I just can't seem to make time for it.

I'm afraid my oversleeping has scarred me for life because for the second night in a row I woke up during the night, probably because of a subconscious anxiousness to not oversleep.

I hear that a good writer will read over his work before clicking the send button.

Did I plug this website: averyfineline? It's great, particularly if you have at least a cursory knowledge of southern gospel. But it's very, very interesting.

Sometimes people are open to the gospel, sometimes they're not. But everyone's worth praying for.

I hope that my long-term job doesn't involve me calling people up on the phone, at least people that I don't know or that I feel may not want to help me.

Double integrals are cool, though tricky.

I can't wait to sing again. TT's coming out for a post-Christmas visit (and JM too, I think?!?!), and we've got at least one program lined up. There will be more, too.

Hmm...

I reread my post, and I made just one addition. No corrections. There's sure to be a typo, though.

I just got a phone call. I'm printing bulletins this week for church and MB called to tell me that SS is going to lead singing Sunday morning.

But anyway, wouldn't there be a lot of pressure if you were writing on not making typos? There's a columnist in the Sunday paper that writes on writing. I wonder if he's ever used a "to" when he wanted a "too".

So yeah.

I'm not a Dem or a Lib

KK and TT were chatting on-line the day after the election.

KK: Prez. Bush just delivered his acceptance speech.
KK: Maybe AHQ should send By some flowers and a box of Kleenex.
KK: That would show how compassionate the conservative faction of AHQ really is.

The day after my very positive performance review for my job at the IAC, I overslept and missed a mandatory all-team meeting.

I was so paranoid about oversleeping this morning. I set two alarm clocks and still kept waking up because I was so worried.

Update on Grad School Search

I'll be glad when the whole application process is done.

Right now, the five Statistics departments that I'm most likely to apply to are: Berkeley, Purdue, University of Chicago, Penn State, and Oregon State.

I've gone back and forth about what degree to pursue initially. Most recently I'm settling back into a Master's Degree frame of mind. This is a limiting factor because quite a few programs don't have a research-involved Master's program, which is good if you want to jet yourself directly into industry, but not as cool if you're like me who has an interest in industry and research.

I wish there was a little more diversity in the geography of my final five choices, which is why this is not a list set in stone. North Carolina is a state that I'd like to live in, and the Northeast is also intriguing. I wish there was a good fit for me in one of the New England states. Maybe I'll make it a point to go there if I get my PhD.

Polish Digital Clock

No doubt some of you have seen this already (or maybe it's some sort of insidious joke that I don't get, because after all it was forwarded to me), but if you haven't seen it, it'll probably make you say "wow!"

Polish Digital Clock

Is good good enough?

Which is better, to be good (not in a moral sense) in the midst of mediocrity or in the midst of excellence?

I think it's better to be in the middle of something positive. I think, though, that selfishly there are attractions to being good in the middle of average peers. You show up more, you seem better than you really are, and in the short run at least that's good for you personally. However, I think the attitude is antithetical to Christian values.

Evolution of My Communication

I remember in the early days that e-mail was in my life. I was a part of AHQ, even back then. For quite a long time, TT (that about makes me crack up) and I were the only ones of the foursome that had e-mail. We'd go back and forth about whatever--mostly music-related though if I recall.

Back then, there would be one massive e-mail in which all of the many topics of ours were held. We'd talk about music as an evangelism tool and Michael English in the same message. Each paragraph would be a topic.

But that changed. Well, a lot of other stuff changed too, because soon KK got e-mail and then DK. But at some point, there ceased to be just one large e-mail covering the gamut. Now there were lots of little e-mails, consisting of anywhere from a few words to a few hundred words.

And if you go back to my early posts, I do the same thing TT and I used to do. Multiple topics, one missive. But I'm evolving to a more unimethodological (I made that word up) way of doing things.

I remember thinking it would be so cool when all four of us had e-mail.

Of course, I also remember thinking it was be just radical if we could all furnish our own rides to quartet rehearsal. I'm sure KK and TT thought it would be even more radical than I did.

Divorce

It's always been somewhat difficult for me to get a hold on how the OT law relates to me, to grace, to the NT.

In our Sunday School lesson, we discussed this relationship. In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ raises the bar clearly and unequivically. But he also internalizes things.

It hath been said ... don't kill, don't commit adultery, don't forswear yourself, give an eye for an eye.

But Jesus says ... don't even hate, don't even lust, don't swear at all, love your enemies instead of punching them back.

See, He goes straight for the heart. You can refrain from killing someone but still wish they were dead. You can refrain from adultery but still think about it. You can swear all you want, but still break your promises. You know? But now, with the Spirit of God living inside of us, that's not near good enough.

Ok, that being said, there's another example Christ uses in there that might seem a little out of place. Right in the middle of all this, He talks about divorce. He says you used to be able to divorce but now you shouldn't.

So I think, how does this fit in with the rest of what He's trying to say? What's the concept He's trying to internalize here? Obviously, He's raising the bar, but that alone doesn't mimic the other examples He gives.

But maybe He is internalizing something. Maybe He's internalizing marriage in a way. Maybe it's going from a social arrangement to a spiritual relationship. Maybe. But I don't really know.

Misterious

Now, the last couple of days there has been a thick mist that has settled down upon the sleepy Willamette Valley. I think it's cool. You can barely see to drive safely, it just hangs in the air like crustaceans suspended in a cup of water. It seems otherworldly in a way. I think if I struck off toward the woods at about 3 in the afternoon I would end up in a parallel world before too long (Maris, anyone? For you Odyssey fans). It's got the feeling of mystery.

Church

So I was in a funky state of mind last night. It continued this morning.

But church completely refueled me. It was so exciting! I don't know if there was anything really specific, but just being around my people, getting into the frame of mind of leading the Sunday School, taking part in Sunday School, listening to a challenging sermon--it all combined to give me a fresh perspective and renewed energy. I love it.

Moods

I was in a sour, dour mood tonight. We went over to my Phil & Rosie's, hung out. Ate ice cream, milkshakes, talked. Phil taught us how to play poker. He cheats.

Why was I in a bad mood?

Sometimes you get pensive or unsettled and when other things happen to jar you in your fragile emotional state, you stop engaging positively with your world. Either that, or you're annoyed that you didn't get very much done today.

Moods are strange like that. I think even the most even-keeled of us succumb to giddiness or grumpiness at one point or another. In a way, strong moods can be like strong drink, except maybe not quite so extreme. They say there are mean drunks and happy drunks. What do moods make you? Annoyed (mean) or giddy/crazy (happy). I'm sure there are many other shades. A Christian band even wrote a song about girls and moods, wishing they would wear "mood rings" that would change color with their mood, so the guys would know how to act toward them.

I'm not generally a quick-thinking, verbally incisive person, but every once in awhile I get in a mood where I feel almost as if I could have taken on Winston Churchill in a battle of wits. And just like inebriation, you think you're cooler/funnier/smarter that you likely are in reality.

Moods aren't normally as violent as drunkenness can be, but the same general thing applies I suppose. When I get into a bad mood, I just want to lash out. I want to let someone have it with both barrels. I want to passionately, sanctimoniously (because then I could maybe justify it) chew someone out. That desire was assuaged a little bit tonight because I was able to passionately give my opinion about something I believe strongly in. Yeah! I just let 'em (no one in particular, unless they disagreed with me) have it!