Where is God?

Had a heartbreaking discussion with someone a couple of days ago. It was a good discussion in a way, but heartbreaking. I feel for a person that feels as if he's never been acknowledged by God, even after he's tried his very best to seek and find Him. Doesn't seem right; I don't have the answers.

Without putting words into this man's mouth, here's something that could come from someone with a perspective such as his.

"Are you there, God? Please, talk to me! Speak ... something. Why, when I call, when I've tried, when I've done all that I can to reach out to You, why haven't you reached out to me? Why?

"You know, you said that if I sought you with all of my heart I'd find you. That's what you said! So why haven't I found you? I tried, for so long, to be the person I was supposed to be, but it was like you were never there for me.

"God!

"Why do I even use the word? Why do I even acknowledge you when you've never answered me before?

"I'm dying inside, I'm haunted. I look up at the heavens, throw my hands in the air, and scream, "WHERE ARE YOU? Show me yourself!"

"The sky is clear, but my soul is not.

"But where can I go?"

Lately I've been e-mailing myself reminders for stuff.

I had a really good day today. It connected with people--some acquaintances from school, a guy at work, talked to Brandon for awhile tonight.

This morning--bluntly stated--I participated in the deceit that is photography. The IME department was trying to come up with people to take pictures of so at least they'd have real pictures in their brochures instead of "stock" photos from who-knows-where. They bring this cool two-wheeled electronic vehicle that when you step onto it and lean forward, you go forward. Lean back, you stop. Lean back some more and you go backward. Turn this little knob-thing, you turn, as easy as you please. So they bring this think out to take pictures with, the implication being, of course, that if you come to OSU Industrial Engineering, you will not only work on designing neat electronic gizmos like this (which had not been developed at OSU), but probably get to ride them around campus all the time as well.

Then we go to this classroom, and they have us pose on this gizmo again, this time in front of a white sheet. They wanted us to crouch around, and act like we were riding down the street with the wind in our hair having the greatest time of our lives. Seriously, they took a fan and blew it on the girls and one of the guys who had a tie, so it looked like they were outside in the wind.

I got more, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

A sobering thing happened yesterday.

See, I've put a lot of pressure on myself financially, regarding school. So I feel the need to work, work, work real hard to not allow school to be a financial burden in my future. It's like I can hardly let up. I see a reward way in front, but for now I can hardly allow myself to relax, hardly allow myself to slack--ever. Which may be ok at this point in my life, but I'm hoping it doesn't become a habit.

But then again, maybe it's not ok at this point in my life, because when will it really change? I'm sure the opportunity will be there to throw myself into my job as much as I throw myself into school and stuff that pays for school. Maybe I need to be a bit more balanced right now. I just don't know if that's realistic, for the next six months.

I've got work issues, man.

Here's how it goes. The IAC is a fairly independent type of job. You have work to do, and you must do it, though when you come in and how long you spend working is not so important, as long as you get the job done. But I have found lately that I don't have much work. I come, piddle around doing what I can, then discover that there's nothing more to do really. And it just makes me feel bad.

I want to work as much as I realistically can, but I've got to relax some too. And attend to other matters in my life.

Typical

Awake. Breakfast (muffin? toast? cap'n crunch?). Drive. IAC. Research (testing and debugging computer program). Drive. Food (sandwiches or corn dog). Run. Pellet mill. Hot (oh so hot). Sweat ("did he fall into the creek?"). Run. Home.

So to all those Christians who want to take this country and turn it upside down in a Jesus-loving, Christian-morality-enforcing wonderful haven...take 1 Corinthians 5 to heart.

I can hear them (maybe you!) now, saying "but that's speaking to Christians personally, in the context of the church, not to the government."

Folks, I just think we need to worry about a) each other as believers and b) unbelievers--but not their morality. Until they become Christians, then worry about their fruits.

That's a pretty strong statement. I better put a disclaimer on it. I think it's the truth, but I haven't thought about it enough, and I know there is Scripture that tells us to rebuke the wicked etc., so I'm not sure how that fits in but I need to go to bed.

The Body

First inclination: to clam up, like a sea anemone. Mind my own business, just stay out of it. That's peaceful, isn't it? Greet 'em on Sunday. Smile. Hope they keep coming, hope they're doing well.

Lord, no! We're a brotherhood, a body! If one part of the body struggles with another part, struggles with itself, it hurts the rest of the body. It needs to be mended, made better, cared for.

This means getting involved.

The Bible claims its own authenticity and inspiration. Christians believe it, they have faith that it is true.

But if that's all you have, what distinguishes it from another religious book that has the same characteristics.

I don't think it's good enough to just believe the Bible. It has to be true for it to be worth believing in, and it claiming to be true and us believing it is not good enough...I don't think. At least my mind balks at such a suggestion. How do you defend that in the open market of ideas? Christianity should be defensible intellectually, and to say that it's true because it claims it is and I believe it doesn't seem defensible.

You know?

It is defensible in the open market of ideas, I firmly believe, because it is the truth. It is. Christ died and conquered death, that's a verifiable fact. And that right there is where to start in thinking about the authenticity of the Bible. Prophecy and archaeology are right there too, supporting what Scripture says.

Refueling

I've mentioned before on this page the thought of church being something like a spiritual refueling station for Christians. That is precisely how I feel about my church. It is a complete joy to be a part of this body and I come away with a heart filled up and uplifted. I just love it. I love the fellowship, the people, it's wonderful.

Now, I need to use this fuel as well as the fuel of constant communion with God to make a difference in my world this week! Let's do it.

I wonder how the term "crusade" came to have a positive connotation in the context of winning people for Christ? The Crusades were unfortunate and nasty in reality.