Another thing that’s way out of control is my desk. It’s a mess. And there’s no relief in sight.

I was walking a little ways behind two guys past the music building at OSU today and I could hear a choir practicing through the open window. The sopranos were learning a line, and their director was helping them by singing and playing their individual line on the piano.

So I hummed their line out loud. Not real loud, but I was certainly singing it.

One of the guys up ahead did a “let’s casually-look-around-and-see-who’s-behind-me-without-acting-as-if-that’s-what-I’m-doing” thing.

Again, I was amused.

One thing I know I'm not: a code-pounding computer scientist.

Today, I was very tired of sitting in front of a computer, so I decided to do something crazy. I decided to write out a report longhand, give myself a break.

That lasted maybe six minutes.

My inbox is getting out of control. 160 messages, with no sign of relief.

To log in at the Dixon Rec Center at OSU, you have to give a person your ID card, which they slide through a card reader and immediately return to you.

Today, I walked up to the counter “womanned” (sorry about the PC joke there) by a pretty girl. And there was this guy talking to her.

I always enjoy observing casual guy/girl interactions on campus, so as I walked up there I got to thinking about that or the girl or something…

I had my wallet in my hand, opened it up, and gave her my debit card. Didn’t even think, just the first card I put my hand on.

I was amused.

I’m so excited. So much uncertainty though, so much that could change. So much that has changed.

When I look back at my collegiate journey and even further back at my collegiate dreams, I (and this goes without saying) never could have guessed it. I’ve nearly come full circle. But the place that God has led me to right now is so full of promise, so energizing. The possibilities seem endless and the thought of them wonderful.

It’s obviously not all this happy. Things could go wrong, I could easily burn out, but from where I sit now, it’s all good.

Is God behind it? I wish/hope/think so.

Sorry for the stupid keeping you in suspense. It’s just that I want to vent so bad, but I don’t want to throw stuff out there in case it falls through (which I, in essence have done). I’ve done that plenty of times and I don’t really like the feeling. I do apologize, because it’s stupid I know.

But then again, that’s what great writers do. Ha ha.

Something very wonderful happened today. I think.

I'll let you know what happened soon.

Hurray! The Barclay’s are coming back to Odyssey! It’s amazing. Don’t miss the season premier of Adventures in Odyssey, coming to Christian radio near you sometime Saturday in the near future.

I wish there was a course of study that included: a dash of Theology, a bit of Newtonian Mechanics, a healthy dose of Production Planning & Control, some Writing, a little Thermodynamics, some delightfully complex mathematics, a good bit of Operations Research, quite a bit of Statistics, and a lot of time to think Philosophically about everything.

That’s what I’d take.

I’ve obviously gone the technical route instead of the artistic one. In a way I’d like to have that decision to make again. Perhaps I’d come to the same conclusion, perhaps numbers would still win out over abstraction, but back when the decision was to be made I was not equipped to consider all options.

But I’m stuck with numbers, and trust me, that’s a great place to be stuck at.

Although…

One of the things that bothers me about the Industrial Engineering undergraduate program is how nonspecific and relatively untechnical it is. That might be a little strong, because there is plenty of technical material to be learned, but the fact remains that you can walk into the IME Graduate program with essentially no Engineering background (though I’m sure you have to have some Math background) and get admitted. C’mon, I want something specialized and technical. Are the undergraduate courses that insignificant?

I look at Mechanical Engineering. If you went in to them with no Engineering background, you’d have to do multiple years of catch-up before you’d be eligible for grad school.

That’s why I’m attracted to Operations Research, to Statistics. It’s specific and very technical.

Check out the words to a popular praise & worship song:

Come, now is the time to worship.
Come, now is the time to give your heart.
Come, just as you are to worship.
Come, just as you are before our God.
Come…

Someone pointed out to me that the line “Come, just as you are to worship” is wrong. And sure enough, it is. If it said, “Come, just as you are to the cross” it would be great. But God’s not going to hear our prayers or receive our worship if we come to Him with iniquity in our hearts.

I just heard that a young lady—Daryl Hostetler’s wife for those of you who know them—of only 25 years was just diagnosed with a deadly case of colon cancer. She has three months to live.

What would you do if you only had three months to live? A sobering thought, one that I can’t really fathom.

I’d cry, first of all. I’d cry and cry and cry and probably wonder why.

Then, I don’t know.

HTML doesn't seem very rigorous. Which is nice.

Oh yeah, and people somehow found out about TA positions that I was never offered or didn't hear about.

I'm in the computer lab surrounded by a bunch of seniors. I'm feeling inadequate in the area of job security. I don't have a job, I'm not in MECOP, not sure. It's not a good feeling.

I feel so like a techie. I'm learning html. It's pretty cool, I want to put some time into learning it and becoming functionally proficient in it.

Something's bothering me, but at the moment I can't put my finger on it. It's very bothersome.

My friend David, he's really in love man. Really in love.

Byran Smucker's Scrabble score.

Pholph's Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 25. What is your score? Get it here.

In my ergonomics class today, we discussed the organization in a very high-level, scientific way. One thought the professor brought out is that a large, complex organization is manageable only because there is a "boss" (say the board of directors) at the top that provides leadership, establishing the policy and overall direction of the company.

He then went on to say that this was the reason marriage is so difficult, because there is no "boss" to appeal to. He said that the idea of a male-dominated home was not good, junk, we don't want it any more.

When it comes to college and the Biblical idea of the home, I've always been rather uncomfortable. It seems to me that this would be a perfect breeding ground for massive misunderstandings and explosive emotions.

To characterize the man as the leader of the home is correct I think, but to paint the picture of a male-dominated household is wrong. My professor's right--and I'd never thought of it before--because any organization (including a home) with no organizational structure is doomed to be a mess.

I certainly haven't satisfactorily thought it out, and analogies I try to draw in my mind regarding men and women's roles in the home come up way short.

There's probably still a lot of male domination going on in our country, much to our shame. But the Biblical model isn't about males dominating, in fact we are all commanded to submit to each other. What the Biblical model is about, though, is the male taking a loving, considerate lead in the home, to offer it a solid organizational structure.

One of the most difficult things in the world to do is to work efficiently with no deadline in sight.

I have this standard in my life. “Keep your shirt on.” It’s a personal modesty issue. Short pants, I refrain for my church. Shirts, though, have nothing to do with my church.

It’s not much of an issue most of the time, except when I venture out to the rec center basketball courts at OSU. Mostly men play there, though an occasional girl will try her hand with the rest.

The other day found me at those courts. I was there to meet some friends to prepare for a team one of my classmates is getting up. I shot around at a basket for a while, waiting for one of the full-court games to end.

As I did, I thought about how I was feeling. I felt apprehension, for sure. It’s accepted practice at those gyms to play shirts on skins. And I didn’t know what would happen if I went in and declared that I was going to play but I had to be a shirt. I didn’t want to cause a scene, I didn’t want to be different.

It bothers me that I felt so much apprehension. When it comes to public things like that, when it comes to even a possibility of conflict, I quail. It bothers me, and I’m not sure what to do about it except to pray through it and ask God as it’s happening and before it happens to give me strength to walk through it.

It’s almost like I need a brand new outlook from somewhere. And it’s not just this issue at all, it reaches to all sorts of stuff where God’s way would conflict with the common way.

This is sort of like a story with no punchline, because it all turned out pretty benignly. I jumped in as a shirt for one game and bowed out of the next one because they had too many players and my team was going to be skins anyway. No loud declarations, no shining witness that I could see, but I remained true to my conviction.

I’m waiting for that incident, that issue, where I can stand up confidently and declare God’s truth.

Sometimes I’m lazy and drag my feet,
My walk becomes a crawl
Motivation I had takes a hike
Standards begin to fall
I’m a child of the King, that has a nice ring,
Should be changing lives you see
Well I’m feeling lazy and sittin’ around
Well it’s easier to me.

How did Daniel face the lions?
How did Moses part that sea?
That’s how I’ll make a difference
By the Spirit of God in me.
If it’s faith, Lord, I’m missing
Could you show me some right now.
If I need to catch a glimpse of you
Would you show me yourself, now?

-Jason McKenney

Jeremiah 29:13 is one of the most beautiful verses in the Bible. It just resounds with hope.

"And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart."

Just a little snippet from the sermon Sunday morning. God wants our good. He doesn’t bring bad into our lives for his amusement. Now, if we choose against better knowledge, we may invite adversity and trouble into our life. An example of this would be David taking a census of the people against God’s express words. But making a mistake while doing the best you know is another matter altogether. God can work with that, He’ll correct your path if you’re headed where He doesn’t want you to.

This brings to mind my SMBI plans. I think God corrected an honest mistake in direction that I made. I was going to say I was confident that’s what happened, but I can’t quite say that yet.

And I didn't even like their Italian dressing.

Brandon Lincoln is not a point guard. But Luke Jackson can be.