It's hard to write on demand, you know?
Take my essay for the Marshall scholarship for example. The thing about this piece of work is, it's very, very important in getting you to the first interview. It needs to be creative and original and vibran but more than that, it needs to reflect the originality and creativity and vibrance of you as a person.
So last night I started thinking about it and it started coming and now I have an essay that I can edit and change and improve. That's much better than sitting in front of a computer trying to start.
Last night I jogged home from work on a dark, ill-begotten path. I had two adventures. No, three. First, I ran out of the well-lighted warehouse and couldn't see anything in the dark. So I had to fumble along trying to find the path and not run into a tree or an old truck that peered at me with its dead eyes. Then, as my eyes adjusted, I got more comfortable and I continued on the ill-begotten path. But in the middle of said path was a hulking figure of something. I got closer, and what appeared some like the front end of a front end loader with a spear thrusting out from on end. Don't people realize that people might be traversing this path in the night and might run into it? I went a little further and the undeniable stench of a skunk comes to me. I'm not in very good shape, and I wasn't jogging very quickly, but boy, I sprinted baby, sprinted until I couldn't smell the skunk no more! I especially sprinted when I heard rustling beside the ill-begotten path.
Really, though, I feel a little fake right now, because I'm acting as if everything's fine, but I'm really struggling right now.
Yea for God. Nay for me.
posted by Byran @ 1:24 PM
17 comments
17 Comments:
Re: your first sentence, yes it is. That's why I often just wait for inspiration.
Tom
No wonder you never write!
Byran, You may feel as though you are "faking" it, but sometimes you have to. Not "fake" in the sense of hiding and covering up what you are feeling but simply moving on with the realiziation that regardless of how you feel, regardless of what you are going through, life goes on! I struggled with this for months! I reached the bottom of my barrel and then the bottom fell out! But life went on! I spent alot of frustrating, agonizing moments trying to figure it all out, trying to find the answers. I thought I must be doing SOMETHING wrong to be so enshrouded by discouragement. Was I? I don't know. But what I've learned from those long months is that LIFE GOES ON! It is a continuous cycle whether you have had a good day, or whether you've had a bad day. It moves on whether you are victorious or defeated. Through that time I should have spent less time analyzing and trying to figure everything out and more time lifting my hands in surrender to my Father! We can face the tomorrows of life not on our own strenght, not because we feel "on top", but because HE LIVES! Instead of fighting, hang on for the ride! God is in control! He pilots your ship! And with Christ in your vessel, you can smile at the storm.
Moses cried unto the Lord saying
What shall we do?......
And the Lord said unto Moses,
GO ON
Ex. 17:4-6
No wonder I never write??! What is that supposed to mean! What am I supposed to write for?
Oh, I get it! I have been slacking in my blog commenting lately. Yes, I apologize. Things are just kind of a mess right now.
Tom
Tom does write sometimes. He writes some cool stuff.
Crystal
Simon Schrock's favorite comment on these times of tortured existence is, "Don't throw in the towel; hang it on the cross." And I had to think of my theme verse for this year.
"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, and in due time He will lift you up. Casting all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you."
Byran, thanks for being so open,
Merry
Struggle is a sign of life.
LaDonna
You know, there's only one reason for struggle. There are two opposites fighting. But did you realize that there doesn't have to be a struggle? And there are two ways for that to be. One is the route Satan wants us to take, and that consists of giving into his lordship. The other route is the Strait Route which consists of throwing off everything and saying, "Christ, take control of everything."
I'm not saying this to be preaching, though doubtless I'm preaching to myself. (I've been struggling myself lately) I'm saying this to be encouraging(ed). I find it encouraging in two ways. We can be encouraged that we are still struggling, because that means that there's a part of us that still desires God. And there's a right way to completely rid ourselves of that detestable struggle.
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I'm not sure that I agree. I think there NEEDS to be struggle! If you are in the battle, brother, there is going to be a fight! It will require effort, struggle! The battle isn't won by sitting back in your recliner with a remote control! "We wrestle not against flesh and blood....." but we do wrestle!
Ag
I think you're right to a point, because I just remembered that Christ was tempted and I suppose that going through temptation is the same as struggling. Am I right?
Never will I believe that life can be taken while sitting back and relaxing. No no. What I was trying to say, however vaguely, is that so often (always?) when we struggle we've our old sinful nature struggling against the new and redeemed nature that Christ has given us. What Christ wants of us is to crusify that old nature. I guess that's what I was saying when I said there doesn't need to be a struggle. We don't need to let our sin nature dominate our struggle.
Isn't crucification a process, a continual struggle? I used to think there was this time in my life that I would reach the place that I would no longer feel the struggle between my flesh and God's spirit. I may be alone in this, but the more I am aware spiritually, the more there is struggle, real struggle. In the very depths of my being I really want to do what's right. I guess I am trying to say is that. . . Isn't it the more a person tries to follow God the more struggle, or spiritual battles a person will face? Now, I am looking forward to the day when the battle will be over, and won. However, I just don't know that we will ever be completely struggle-free here on earth. In fact maybe the more we try to follow God the more struggle we will face.
LaDonna
P.S. Oops, I didn't mean to go on so much.:-) sorry
Satan certainly doesn't want to make our life easier. The more we give ourselves to God the farther we move away from Satan's desire for our lives.
But the fact of the matter is, as any ripe old saint of God knows, the more mature and fruitful we become the stronger Satan's attacks to "steal, kill, and to destroy." It's the fact of being human. Satan HATES us. We are created in the image of God, and he can't stand it. That's why we have warnings like, "Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed, lest he fall." "Be sober, be vigilant, because your enemy the devil, walks about seeking whom he may devour." "Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong." It's a battle, folks.
Merry
In a way, I've been thinking a lot the last few weeks about acting like everything's fine when it's not even close to that. And I'm still not sure quite what to say about it. I think everyone does have times like this, but still, it's not fun when you're going thru it. I have learned that people DO appriciate when you let them know sometimes that it ISN'T ok. And my struggles right now are bringing me closer to God. But it seems like this all isn't quite the complete answer. You aren't alone. Lauren
C.S. Lewis speaks in Screwtape Letters of these dry periods that we go through. His take on the matter was that God actually removes his presence from us to bring us to a deeper trust in him. And what we need to do is continue to plod along trusting, though we have no overwhelming feeling of his presence nor the joy in service to him. I'm not sure what I think of his notion. I do know that those dry times can be used to build us stronger. I've a feeling they come, to an extent, from our humanness which places so much value on physical feelings. Just some cogitations of my mind.
Haha, what an ironic statement. "I've a feeling they come..."
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