I was thinking today of how it seems as if Tom and Kon used to state in fairly bombastic tones that I would be the first to marry of the quartet. They seemed pretty hopeless back then.
posted by Byran @ 2:31 AM
18 comments
the by-log
A log of the days and times of Byran Smucker: a happily-married, left-handed, tenor-singing, fair-thinking, Jesus-believing, familyandfriendsandchurchandfootballandbasketball-loving, graduate student in Statistics and Operations Research at Penn State, who’s a Mennonite to boot.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
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18 Comments:
Those comments were probably based on who the one person was in the quartet that the womem seemed to gravitate to!
Tom
Well, it's not By's fault. He can't help God made him a "heart-throb." :-)
Anyway, By, that's the thing I like about you. You don't take yourself too seriously. Keep taking God seriously; that's what counts. And where He leads is the best way.
Merry
Who makes the rules anyway? Who defines what a person "should" or "should not" look like? Why do people gravitate towards one who's physical appearance is a bit more "attractive" than another? Why does it matter? The truth is, it DOESN'T! We have allowed society to color our image and define in our minds how you should look, how you should act, how you should live.
I get tired of the stupid physical appearance game! Because really, it doesn't matter! God is the creator and the instigator of beauty, of humanity. He shapes and molds each individual person to be exactly who he wants them to be. THAT is beauty! The craftsmanship of God portrayed on the face of each individual person is beauty! And we are fools to point out one as having more worth than another simply because of how they look. That may not be the situation here at all, but in general, that is how it is.
by's good inside, too, though.
Q
I'm not arguing that at all. By isn't even in the picture here. I just think that we label people unfairly based upon physical characteristics. We say it doesn't matter, but actually, we allow it to control the way we think about and view people. Not only that, we tend to treat people accordingly.
Think about it.
I've thought about this a vast deal and I think I'm hearing your heart. But I think I'm coming at it not so much as a value thing, but just as how God has created each individual uniquely just like he created the rest of the world. For lack of any other analogy in my head at the moment here goes -- I enjoy looking at or contemplating a rose far more than I do a basil herb plant. But when I go to the kitchen to whip up a savory concoction I really appreciate my basil. Each of us brings some reflection of God to community. One is not better than another. But the truth of the matter is, the rose in the garden will usually draw more ooh's and aah's from my visitors than the basil plant until time for dinner when they sample a wonderful dish where the basil "shines."
Am I making any sense?
Merry
BTW, please don't take that analogy too far, anybody. It will probably break. :-)
Merry
I don't let anyone else tell me who does or does not appear attractive... It ain't society telling me, it's me personal preferances and choice! However, maybe some people let others decide for them. I try not to base too much on looks. If I did, I would probobly not spend too much time on this site, because the way By looks reminds me of a guy in my youth group who is a complete jerk. He thinks he is the example of coolness, perfection on a volleyball court, that all the girls are falling over him(which, they aren't...) and that he is just, in general, totally with it. This leads to the fact that he is VERY un-accepting, appears to be a very shallow Christian, and can be completely unbearable and obnoctious. Especially to me, whom he decided he doesn't like, mainly because my parents aren't Mennonite. So, looks AREN'T everything! (If you couldn't tell, I get REALLY annoyed at this guy sometimes...) Now, I can't say much about By's character, because I don't personally know him. But I hope he's not like that. Now I've blown off some steam. It's annoying when a guy who looks good acts rotten.
Lauri
Oh you are funny! I chortled with understanding.
My problem right now is with a guy that thinks I am too independent, don't stay home where I belong, don't submit to him..........the list could go on forever.
The only problem that I have is that none of these things are any of his business. And still haven't found ONE scripture that says I should submit to him. Respect, yes. Submit, no. Something he needs to learn, and quickly, is that you can never force anyone to submit! Not that I should anyhow because he is in no position "above" me. But he is going to have a difficult time if he tries to force submission on anyone. Submission cannot be forced, cannot be bought. You can force a person to do absolutely anything you want them to do, but you can never force a person to submit. Submission is an act of the will.
There is nothing more frustrating than the feeling of someone trying to put a collar around you neck to pull you along behind like some whipped dog.
The problem is, I can't get away from this guy! I see him AT LEAST twice a week, usually more. It would be easier to deal with if he would just come up and tell me that he has a problem with me. But instead he just tells everyone else the problems he has with me.
I pray for simple things, like love.
This guy has a huge issue with women. And I think it all stems down to the fact that he is afraid of a woman that knows her own mind. He doesn't like the fact that women can actually think. And so, he tries to "train" them.
But, what fun is life without a few difficult people?
Ag
Yeah, some of what you said fits very nicely for that guy in my youth. Another thing he don't like about me is sometimes I can be pretty oppinionated. Most of the rest of the youth, when he says something are like, oh, ok. And, sometimes I'm like that to. But sometimes, I DO share my oppinion. But he had a problem with me before he ever knew me, just because of who I am. And he goes around bad-mouthing people, too. Our two 'problems' might get along nicely with each other... My biggest problem is that I technically have to love this guy. It ain't easy. He's a PAIN!!!!! Is your 'problem' in your church, too? Lauren
Oh, and about difficult people being fun?? If you think so, I could ship several off to you!!! I can think of at least 3, maybe 4 or 5... Let me know if you want more details about them... In other news, I am now the owner of a sleeveless cape dress!!! :O ! Lauren
Lauren, you are funny. That "other news" part.
Crystal
Well, they ARE pretty rare... :) Lauri
OOOOOH NO! Don't even think about it Missy! I have my share of difficult men to deal with w/out collecting them from faceless friends!
The guy that I was referring to is in my church and I work with him in a particular ministry, which means that I see him always.
You know girls, we can't do it on our own! I have tried to tell myself to buck up and just deal with him, to just love him, and none of it worked. Why? I simply don't have it in me. I have just been praying that the Lord would fill me with His sweet love for this person. Because on my own, I am bone dry. And He is. Slowly, very slowly, but it is happening. I am developing a heart of compassion, on occasion (don't laugh, it's a start!), for this person. And truly the compassion is replacing disgust, and that doesn't come from me! It comes from Him!
Ag
Ag, you're going in the right direction. I keep thinking of O. Chambers exhortation that God doesn't give us insight into another person's character and existence so that we will criticize but so we will know better how to intercede for them. The fruit they bear that causes us so much "pain" is born out of a wrong identity. And that's all for now, because I can get rather longwinded on this subject.
Merry
Yeah, the other day I realized that the verse 'Count it all joy, my brethern, when ye are cast into divers temptations, for the testing of your faith worketh patience' really IS SO true. I realized the other day that thru some of my difficult situations I deal with very regularly, God is drawing me SO much closer to Him. Was it... last night or the night before, I was laying in bed rolling over some problems, and I REALLLY felt that. It's sorta neat, that God uses SUCH difficult situations sometimes to make us closer to Him. And in return, he gives us strength, peace, security, love, and patience to deal with the problems!! Lauren
Merry, get long-winded. I could use a good sermon about now! I have to be with the guy till Monday. The thing is, this is person is not at all a mistreated, underdog sort of person. I have a very soft heart for such individuals and reaching out to them with love and acceptance is not that difficult for me to do. This guy however, is so very self-righteous. And I am not trying to be ugly or judgemental by saying that. I am simply stating the facts as they lay before me. Really, I am over my head! I have no idea how to deal with this guy!
I think I need time. I need to sit back, analyze, ponder, and view him in front of the Cross. That's where it all makes sense. That is where I find clarity.
Ag
The more obnoxious someone is, the more proof you have that they are living from a wrong sense of identity. When we respond to them in reaction, our sense of identity becomes twisted and we become not much better than them. I know it's not easy, but, honey, I don't recall my Jesus promising me an easy life. He DID promise me He would never leave me or forsake me. That's where my identity lies. And Ag, you're right on when you say that it's all gotta be processed at the Cross. When we get a renewed vision of our own unworthiness and God's incredible love ("While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us..."), what the next "servant" owes me does not hold a candle to the debt my Jesus has forgiven me.
Merry
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