When I perceive that I'm not included in some group that I thought/assumed/wished I was, that makes me insecure. Perception is one key. It doesn't have to be true, but if I feel it, I feel bad because I assume this perception means that this group doesn't think I'm interesting or doesn't consider me close enough to them to include me.

The other key is God. 'Cause lets say someone (or a group of people) collectively thought Byran Smucker was the biggest boring loser that they'd ever seen. Hmm, if that were true and I knew, it would be major crisis time. Actually, if that were true, maybe that would be a signal that something is wrong with me. But let's say they didn't think I was the biggest boring loser, but just a slightly boring geek. There you go, much more realistic. Not that I am! I don't like down-talk, remember. We're just posing hypotheticals.

Man, I keep trying to make a scenario where I can say, "it doesn't matter, all you have to do is worry about what God thinks of you." But if someone didn't like to hang with me because they didn't find me interesting, I think I have a problem. I need to be more in tune with what they think/like/care about, so I can develop a relationship with them.

Ok, here's one. Let's say someone didn't like to hang out with me because I didn't like to do the same things that they did (meet women at bars, for instance...that reminds me, one of my profs has this piece of advice he likes to throw out there: "Never marry a woman who hangs out at a bar"), then I could rest completely in God, never worrying about what others might think.

This post seems like a train wreck. How you doing Randy?

Randy's in Iowa seeing his girl.