Thursday I went to the Olive Garden with some friends to use a Christmas gift certificate.

I’m relatively new to the whole Salad Scene, particularly at a halfway posh Italian restaurant like the Olive Garden. The first two people ordered and said they wanted salad. I thought it was a little strange that no dressing was specified, so I determined not to make the same mistake. I told the waitress what I wanted, and then added I wanted a salad “with ranch.”

She smiles and says, You don’t want our Italian dressing? It comes in a big bowl, all together.

Oh, sure, I say, Sure, I’ll try that.

But I can get you a salad with Ranch, if you really want it.

Oh you can? Ok, well, sure I’ll have that then.

But everyone loves our Italian dressing, it’s great, you sure you don’t wanna give it a try?

Um, sure, I guess I’ll go with that.

I waffled back and forth so bad I thought we were eating breakfast for a second (sorry). See, I was insecure about the whole fancy restaurant thing, because I didn’t really know the convention obviously, and then I committed this faux paus evidently. And I blew like a reed in the wind on that one. It’s pretty funny to think about.