Three finals down, one to go. The worst is definitely behind me, and the worst may not be as bad as first imagined.

I'm not a big fan of economics. In fact, don't count me a fan at all. This is slightly bothersome, because it is an important topic in Industrial Engineering. And stranger than that, it involves some nice mathematics, which would normally predispose me to enjoying the subject. So I'm not sure what's up. I could blame the teacher, maybe, but that's sort of stupid.

I'll tell you who should have a blog for sure: my cousin Kevin Birky. That guy is hilarious.

So, let's transition to a longing of my heart.

I desire to be a person known for loving Jesus. I have this vision in my mind of being so dedicated to Christ that before knowing me long people will realize that "hey, he's the guy that loves God."

But I feel so inhibited. Either I'm scared and uncomfortable with the subject, or I'm afraid of how I'll come across (not as a gracious, loving, Christ-like person, but as a condemning, negative one), or meaningful subjects just don't come up.

Basically, I cry to be like Christ. That's how he was. Most everyone he contacted knew, in a limited way at least, what He was all about. And that's what He went around doing, helping people, speaking to their needs. Sure, there was a grander, more epic plan in the works, but in a day-to-day practical way, he was all about...who He was.

But I get frustrated sometimes because it doesn't happen. Am I doing something wrong? I know what I want to do, I'm dissatisfied with how things are, but I don't know how to change it. I've tried to force it before, and I've fallen flat on my face. At least it's felt like it.