On Embarrassment, My Day, and Instant Oatmeal

I’ve thought about this idea quite a bit, and I don’t think I really understand it. I’ve almost come to the conclusion that it’s a choice. So I do something that’s stupid, or “embarrassing,” and because I’m composed enough I don’t let it bother me--or if it bothers me I try not to let it show. It’s interesting how this has developed in me over the years. I find myself in situations that surely would have caused me to lose it a little bit in times past, but I just sort of bluff my way through. I don’t know if it’s just growing up, feeling more comfortable with myself, becoming more socially apt, or just becoming less sensitive (in a bad way).

But then—and if I ever bring this up in Kon’s presence he’s sure to point this out—there seems to be times when a person should get embarrassed. Like embarrassment is almost a God-given sign to us that somehow shouts to us that we’ve crossed a line of proper conduct. Like when I accidentally started to walk off with a calendar at the mall. Without paying.

I’m trying to think of the last time I was really embarrassed. The thing is, I’m conditioned to try to get through embarrassing situations saving as much face as possible. You know, it may be crazy embarrassing but I try not to let it show. Does that mean I’m really not getting embarrassed? Is that good? Not sure.

But I do know it’s good to laugh at yourself. That’s a must. But like I said at the outset, I don’t really understand it.

Had a good day today, by the way. Got to play basketball at the Rec Center for the first time since the spring (1004 calories, gone-o).

So tomorrow, time permitting, I’m going to develop this thought about embarrassment and how it relates to relating to people. And also, there’s some really exciting (to us) stuff going down regarding AHQ.

Whoo-hoo…

I’m getting a little tired of Instant Oatmeal.